


Crawl

by awkwardeye



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Drabbles, Dubious Consent, F/M, Physical Abuse, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-10
Updated: 2016-06-29
Packaged: 2018-07-14 06:22:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 3,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7157126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awkwardeye/pseuds/awkwardeye
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Snoke gifts Kylo a slave to aid in his recovery following his fight with Rey.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. prologue: égoïste

Kylo Ren is a god. 

 

He breathes life into depraved shells and snatches existence from his enemies in one foul movement.  On his fingers lies the blood of humanity and purpose. When he draws his power from its sheath, the universe bows to him and he tears it apart with ease. What he demands he receives.  He signs his name Lord for he sees in his reflection the saviour of the galaxy. He can do no wrong.

 

And, yet, he has fallen to the fallible status of human.

 

Kylo Ren has been a god.


	2. morals

There are two reasons for Kylo to accept Supreme Leader Snoke’s offer. The first is that his ego is bruised, beaten along with his body by an amateur rebel girl with too little knowledge and too much power. Every waking moment he drags himself over the details of defeat. The hunter falling to the scavenger. The second is the way Snoke phrases the offer. He calls it “a form of rehabilitation”, a tool of recovery that will deliver him back his sense of superiority. Hidden beneath his spoken words are their meaning and they scream with stitched mouths that he thinks Kylo will fuck his way to normalcy.

He doesn’t consider it human, but an object carved to mimic the female form for his pleasure. It makes things easier when his gift stands before him and he knows its purpose. It was bred for this, pieced together like a doll on a machine for this exact act. So it fails to crush his moral standing when he accepts his mentor’s offer. After all, it’s a last resort, this desperate attempt to reassure Kylo that he belongs where he stands and to draw the tortured soul from hiding to remind him of his madness and inhumanity.

But his humanity (what’s left of it) claims him when he sees himself reflected in his glass as he raises it to his lips, and the bandages wrapped around his face. Wiry hairs break the surface of his skin, making his already gaunt face appear more foreign than it already is. He feels pathetic when he glances at his gift and tosses his glass against the wall. He allows himself to cry only once he reaches his room and proceeds to swear off tears. Later that night, he makes his gift crawl to him on its hands and knees and says,

“You will not sleep. You will not eat. You will not speak. You are not human. You are mine.”


	3. touch

“Remove your clothing.”

She hesitates for a moment and then moves her hands slowly to hike up the skirt of her dress over her waist.

“Do you know why you’re here?” Kylo growls. He crosses the room in a matter of several steps and grasps the girl by the front of her dress. The fabric rips in his hands when he pulls her to him. If he was a different man, he might feel the slightest tinge of remorse as he brings his hand harshly down on her cheek and she cries out. But he isn’t a different man and he stares at her young face and can not be bothered by her age or lack thereof or the way her cheek reddens with the imprint of his palm. He tears her clothes from her and then steps away to look at her.

She doesn’t realize what he’s done until he returns to his bed and calmly tells her to leave. Even then, she stands, stunned and disgusted, with the slimy fluid hanging on her face, dripping over her lips. She’s been beaten before, ravished, and berated, but she’s never had someone spit upon her. Something sinks in her stomach, tumbles aimlessly around in her like it belongs somewhere, but not there. The image of her hands around his throat flashes behind her eyes when she blinks, prompting a desire to turn the image into a reality. A fleeting desire, it dissipates with reality and she turns on her heels and leaves without bothering to dress for fear that it might deliver punishment should she do something he hasn’t explicitly advised her to do.

Another fleeting thought pauses her escape. Kylo drags her back to him and forces her down to her knees without touching her. Sneering he grabs her face and forces her mouth open, unsheathing himself in the same moment. When he forces his cock into her mouth, he sees his face reflected in her empty eyes, this ghastly creature with a scar curving along his features, and wonders if she sees greatness in him or the decrepit core of him hidden beneath the bravado. That night, he beats her until he hears Snoke’s voice in his head, referring to her as a gift and he hears the thinly veiled loathing in the cool undertones of his speech. He stands over her and cries and she turns her head to the side and forces each painful breath as blood from her nose pools on the floor, warming her cheek as it seeps between her face and the cold surface.


	4. rules

There are rules to these sort of things. At least, that’s what the woman with short hair tells the gift when she sits on the corner of the bed and begins to roll her own makeshift cigarette. She says she doesn’t have a name, but calls herself K, in honor of Kylo Ren. She likes being a part of the First Order despite her role. Flagrantly staring at the gift, K twists herself around and grabs the young girl’s face to examine it, sighs, and tells her to wear make up in the meantime.

Her first rule is that the girls must follow the orders they receive without hesitation or question. Dress in as little as possible. Know one’s place. Find something to use as a distraction and life becomes more like living than existing. K smokes to clear her head, some of the other workers she’s known have employed kinder hobbies like reading and drawing. Innocent things to combat the perversion of life at the hands of the same people they worship. The final rule is to maintain a certain level of beauty that ensures she will be desired by someone in the area. She reprimands the gift for breaking that rule and frets over her face and reprimands her again when she learns why Kylo lashed out. 

When the gift begins to cry, K wipes her tears away and promises herself that she will not become attached to the young girl who is nearly destroyed on her third night. She knows that the gift will not last long, but prays when she returns to her room that the gift will not die in a pool of her own blood.


	5. hush

Silence follows Kylo Ren. In corridors, it chokes the voices of his colleagues so swiftly he only knows they have been speaking because he hears the echoes of conversation when he rounds sharp corners. He catches bits of conversation relating to himself ranging from denigration to idolization. He hardly leaves his room and when he does he leaves with a bare face for all to see his fault, that curving monstrosity painted on his visage. In his room, the silence fills the space of time in which he fills his gift to the brim with himself. Though he knows it only takes a simple request to encourage enthusiasm, he has no taste for the synthetic or forced authentic and quite prefers the way she bites her lip to keep from crying out in pain from the horrid and clumsy movement he offers.

The sound of them hits her ears like clockwork. She can count every thrust of his hips by the sound of their bodies colliding. Stretched, she can do nothing, but gazes at his hand wrapped tightly just above her knee, forcing her thigh away from what he truly desires. It hurts, the way he rests his weight on her legs, pushing them back and apart, and the way he sinks himself into her all the way to the hilt until his pubic hair tickles her bare skin. But it also feels nice, as much as she hates it, when his hips pull away from her own and he drags his body along hers. It’s always an effort not to cry when he forces an unwanted orgasm upon her and his eyes gleam with self worth. She hates him, but she’s too afraid to do anything. He drains her body and soul of everything that encourages happiness.

The worst aspect of her situation is that she can feel something much more terrible than fear or hatred when he touches her and it rolls off of him in burning waves. Kylo Ren is starting to crave his toy and he is nothing if not a sadistic child who only understands love with its fingers dipped in pain and sadism. One night, he kisses her and then slaps her when he pulls away and sees the disgust written across her face in bold ink. She only likes him when his skin is red and hot and, in a disoriented haze, he holds her like a human who knows love and she is reminded of lovers from a past that seems so distant, a blur of a dream.


	6. bitter

Snoke praises Kylo when his pupil arrives shaven and noticeably more confident with his gift trailing behind him, her lips pressed tightly together and her eyes empty. He only acknowledges her to tell Kylo that luxuries such as the fine fabrics he dresses her in are wasted on her kind and reminds the man that she isn’t a lover and shouldn’t be treated as one; if he wants a concubine, he can have one of higher quality. Kylo assures him that he knows the difference before Hux can deliver a snide remark. Beckoning her forward, he tells her to repeat what he’s said.

Hux turns away to hide his disdain and disbelief when she opens her mouth a silky white fluid pours from her previously appealing lips. Her expression doesn’t change as she speaks and the liquid drips onto her dress and the floor at her feet. She tastes the remnants on her tongue, bitter and heavy like medicine without purpose. When Kylo’s laughter hits her ears, a dam breaks within her and her stomach twists until it tears and her heart shrivels to nothing. When her throat tightens, there’s nothing she can do to quiet the sob that tears from it or the tears that fall in streams down her face.

Supreme Leader Snoke ends the meeting without having discussed anything, punishing Kylo’s vulgarity with a promise only the pupil hears that makes the blood drain from his face, his amusement gone. When Kylo Ren drags her from the room by her hair, no one moves to stop him because things are better this way. Better her than the equipment. Better her than the officers. Her blood is bitter when he slams her face against a wall in an empty corridor and she bites the inside of her cheek too harshly, bringing forth a wave of metallic warmth. She closes her eyes and thinks only of the taste as he takes her against the wall. She tastes his tears when he kisses her and doesn’t know if he’s angry or sad, doesn’t understand why he cries, only knows that he is and tastes bitter.


	7. shame

Impious, she refuses to thank him for what he has saved her from. Kylo has heard of her past, rooms in towering camps filled with enemies more likely to speak having devoured weeping roses with drooling mouths. He knows a meal feasted upon by up to a dozen a night that left men craving, hungry souls, monsters led not by hearts, but oozing heads filled not with thought, but desire. When he threatens to toss her upon his pyre, she doesn’t bow or beg for his forgiving hand, but accepts the fire of his belt without the sense to implore his mercy. And he is her haven.

Kylo’s flame restores itself each time his hands find her until he feels so superior he questions how leagues of people aren’t worshiping his every breath. And then he looks into her eyes and forces his way through her mind and sees himself through her clear lens. He sees the fear, the anger, the loathing, never the same desire with which he faces her. Buried deep within her mind, he sees his shame in release and his tears reflected in her own. When he takes her, he’s still in her head, making her want him the way he wants her until she cries out for more.  _ More! _

She closes her eyes when he leaves her and grinds her teeth together harshly. They lay together for a long moment until her eyes snap open, these beautiful broken dams that release the rising tides with the ease of gods flinging the unsavory from the heavens. She knows now that he cries for shame, for fear, for the person he wants to be, and the person he once was. That night, he kisses her and she doesn’t pull away, but whispers against his lips,

“Why don’t you just hurry up and kill me?”


	8. whispered

Kylo invites her to dinner one night. Dresses her in the finest fabrics and lays before her the finest wines and delicacies for her pleasure. He watches her hesitate, answers her every idiotic question in a smooth, low tone, and shows his teeth in an attempt at a smile that makes his scar ripple over his skin. As the night drags on, he admits that he wants to pursue his gift in a more wholesome manner for romantic reasons to which she replies that she would rather die. In one movement, the table is cleared, his light saber drawn, and his fury unsheathed. He demands her heart, claims to have earned it with everything he’s done for her.

She’s bolder tonight, prodding at the prospect of death. But she still can only whisper her final piece when it comes because his hands are at her throat and she can’t yell no matter how much she wants to. With her fingers over his, clawing and breaking his pale skin beneath her nails, she whispers, “Everything you’ve done, you’ve done for yourself. You’ve done nothing for me, but made me beg for death. As long as I know who you are and what you’ve done to me, I’ll never love you.”

So he strips her mind bare of himself and leaves her with only the memory of her arrival, only the memory of the curiosity and fear with which she first gazed upon him without knowing him to be such a monstrosity. When she comes to, lying on the table with a burning throat and feeling as if she’s forgotten something very important, he whispers as kindly as he can, “I love you.”


	9. impulse

She’s genuinely happy when he kisses her, when his arms wrap around her waist and she finds in them her savior in all of his grace. Her body stiffens, though, and she can do nothing to ward off the white streak of panic that fries her nerves as her mind tries to recall something like him that petrifies her. In his bed, she stills and her eyes imbibe him in all of their fear like he is so bitter and burns, but she’s so happy when he touches her.

Kylo tells her that she’s wrong, that there’s nothing to remember, as she opens her mouth to complain. He embraces her and wills her to remember again how excited she is to live out the rest of her days bound to him, his lover, his pet. He runs his fingers through her hair and kisses her neck. Her pulse races beneath her skin and he feels the shock of fear that washes over her like her body can’t forget him no matter how much he tinkers with her mind.

There must be something he’s doing wrong.


	10. epilogue: supplier

It leaves his ears ringing, like an explosion on his pillows. He feels as if his face has been torn to shreds, lacerated by these minute grains of metal in the darkness from the force of her voice and she’s so loud in the night it’s a wonder she hasn’t roused herself from the dreadful nightmare that plagues her sleep. He thought things were going so well when her body stopped rejecting him, when she whispered the three words he’d been wanting to hear and he hadn’t had to play with her mind for her to say them. She is silent in the night, leaving his ears to be filled with that awful prolonged ringing and the memory of her voice that fades into his ears as if heard through water. Kylo presses his hand over her mouth like a human, desperate to quiet her. His tears are hot, his throat tight, his sobs are loud. He's not sure if this is reality because nothing feels real, not even her skin against his.

She’s still yelling into his palm with a burning mouth and sometimes her tongue runs over his soft skin and she nips and bites at him. It reminds him of harsh kisses in the throes of passion. He can see her nightmare, the oddity that it is; this pale film of fear like impending death that wraps itself around her mind, the pain of being torn apart by a man, the shame in being watched doing something one wishes vehemently to not do. Her tears are hot and her lips are still moving. He knows she’s shrieking like a banshee, but he can’t hear anything but the ringing in his ears. His hand slides down to her throat and he’s not a merciful being, but filled with a desire to appease her if it means quieting her. He’s torn in time and she’s screaming, her words hot in his mind. Is this a dream, a nightmare?

“Why don’t you just kill me?”

His fingers tighten around her throat, he feels something warm against his own, and she’s still screaming and he still loves her and the gift loves its master.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading until the end. :) please comment if i left a huge plot hole somewhere.


End file.
